I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I need water and some morals
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am mentally ready for anal.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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