my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
