am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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