I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just threw up on my dentist
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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