wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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