When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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