btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I still have a little drunk in my system
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
