toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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