I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
