dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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