you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize