At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
