If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
