there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize