I got chris browned last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
