Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
