whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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