omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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