he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
