If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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