And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
