Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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