that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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