she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
