its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
