I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
