If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
