I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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