its not stalking. its research.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
