all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
