Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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