At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
