i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
