pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize