its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
