i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
