Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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