I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
