I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
