there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
