So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
