I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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