Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
