I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
