Small penises have feelings too.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Randomize
