It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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