You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
