dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The dick lei will go down in squad history
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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