I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
