Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
