yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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