Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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