he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
