I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
