That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize