i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The air was thick with penises
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize