Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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