Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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