Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
