"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
