When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
