Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
