I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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