I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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