Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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