She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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