Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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