she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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