There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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